“People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily.”
– Zig Ziglar
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I don’t know about you, but I don’t bathe daily….
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Motivation ebbs and flows continually, so it is impossible to rely on it. You may be motivated one minute, and then not the next. Motivation is a fickle friend….
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When motivation is “on”, things are great, and you can accomplish so much. I say, “Ride that wave as long as it lasts you!” However, that wave can peter out quite quickly, and you really can’t make up for it with willpower alone. This is exactly why so many health changes die within two weeks of when you implement them (diet and/or exercise New Year’s Resolutions, anyone?). Your motivation does not last.
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People will remind you to go back to your “WHY” to help bring that motivation back, but that still doesn’t work long-term.
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The reality is, you CANNOT rely on willpower and/or motivation alone to make lasting changes. It just won’t happen. Period.
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.Let me fill you in on the way behavior actually works…
(bear with me, I am a science nerd)
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Behaviors happen when three things converge at the same moment: Motivation, Ability, and a Prompt. Yes, motivation is involved, but it is NOT the key player.
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See the model below…
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Let’s use an example….Suppose you are wanting someone to do a favor for you, like pick up shampoo at the store for you. If they have high motivation, it’s easy for them to do, and they are prompted, they will do it for you. This situation will fall somewhere in the upper right portion of the graph. So, in our example, your spouse is at the store already (easy to do), uses the shampoo too (high motivation), and you send them a text before they check out (the prompt) — They will most likely buy the shampoo!
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However, if someone has really low motivation, and the task is really hard to do, they will be in the left bottom corner. Even if they are prompted, they will not do the behavior. For example, your spouse already left the store and is driving home (hard to do), and uses a different shampoo and figures you can just use theirs for the next week (not as motivated). Even if you text them (prompt), they probably won’t do it.
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The “Action Line” you see on the graph is the relationship between Motivation and Ability. Anything that falls above the line will happen, if prompted. Anything that falls below the line will not happen, even if prompted.
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I hope what you can see is….if you are unmotivated, you will need to make up for it by making they task really easy to do in order for it to fall above the Action Line.
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Examples of how to do this….Want more activity throughout your day? –> “After every time I flush the toilet, I will do two sink push-ups.”Want more true exercise in your day? –> “After I set my bag down from getting home from work, I will put on my walking shoes.”Want more veggies in your day? –> After I pick up my fork to eat, my first bite will be veggies.”
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Can you do more than what’s suggested? Absolutely.
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But, we want the habit to be TINY! You should be able to do it in less than 30 seconds.
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The key is to build consistency throughout your life. So, even if you only put on your shoes, walk outside to the mailbox, and go back inside — it is a success!! You didn’t NEED to do more, so you accomplished what you were going for. Now celebrate by telling yourself, “Good job for getting that done.” When you repeat this day-after-day, it gets even easier to do the scaled-back version, and you often end up finding yourself walking for longer. It makes it so you don’t have “All-or-Nothing” days.
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Having the success and celebrating (telling yourself good job) activates the Reward Center in your brain, and you end up doing the behavior more because you feel more motivation by your success. Isn’t that crazy?!? You can start without motivation, and it can lead to increased motivation!
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This is literally what behavior researchers use to hack their brains.
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People change by feeling good…
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…not by feeling bad, so make sure you are celebrating your small wins every time.
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*Information adapted from Tiny Habits, by BJ Fogg