CONVERSATION IN THE MINER HOUSEHOLD

Rhys (seventh grade): I don’t think I am going to apply for my PILOTS license (a status at school).

Me: How come? What does it allow you to do?

Rhys: It allows you special privileges and sometimes you get popcorn and candy.

Me: Oh, I didn’t realize you didn’t like popcorn and candy, or to have special privileges…..

Rhys: Well I do, but I don’t know if I’ll qualify for it?

Me: What are the qualifications?

Rhys: Well, I meet the requirements of not having any referrals (thank goodness!), but you have to maintain As, Bs, and Cs. I struggle with Mr. Denton’s Spanish class a lot. I’m just not very good at learning languages.

Me: Hmmmm…… what would Ms. Screen say about that statement? Would she say that is a growth mindset, or a fixed mindset?

Rhys: (head hung low) She would say it’s a fixed mindset.

Me: (winking) Yeah, I think so too.

Rhys: (correcting the statement) I feel like it is very difficult for me to learn languages.

Me: ………..right now…(pause)… Well, if you don’t apply, you will definitely NOT have your license. But worst case if you do apply is you can’t maintain a C in Mr. Denton’s class, and you end up getting the license taken away from you. Best case, you get the license, continue to do well in Spanish, and get to keep the license and get all the stuff that comes with it. Is that right?

Rhys? Yes, I guess so…(pause)…Plus, I’ve been doing better in Spanish this year than I did last year. I think I could probably stay above a C.

Me: Yes, you have been doing better this year, and I am proud of you for that! I KNOW you can maintain a C or higher. In fact, I am 100% positive that you are capable of that!

Rhys: You’re right, I can. I think I’ll apply for the license.

Me: I think that is a good choice (wink).

#parentingwin #conversationswithkids #growthmindset