One year ago today (on August 16, 2016), I had BRAIN SURGERY.
That feels so surreal to say – but it happened nonetheless.
For those of you who have never had major surgery, you know that it is not just about that surgery day. The aftermath of that day still lives on today, haunting my thoughts.
August 16, 2016 was just the beginning of a very long, very hard year. There are so many things I wish I could take back, but I can’t. These were my experiences, they were a part of my life, and I just have to learn how to live with the aftermath of each and every one of them.
August 2016 – August 2017:
– Brain surgery to remove a tumor.
– Surgery recovery taking a lot longer than I wanted.
– Not being physically able to teach a full load.
– Being limited in my physical abilities/mental/cognitive abilities.
– Horrible reactions to medications.
– Severe depression.
– Radiation.
– Financial stresses.
– Marriage/relationship stressors.
– Losing friendships.
– Mental breakdowns.
– My program at LCC being reduced, and being reassigned from my program coordinator position.
– Multiple Sclerosis diagnosis
Over the past year, I feel like I have been dragged through the ringer, in almost all areas of my life. However, I am determined to come out a better person because of all of these things. I refuse to let my circumstances determine my life. I don’t want things to keep happening TO me in life, I want things to happen in my life BECAUSE of me. I am working my way back to feeling more in control of my life, my actions, and my reactions. I am determined to become a better version of myself – Someone I can be proud of.
Obstacles are placed in our lives as potential growth experiences. However, we often mistaken these situations as negative, instead of opportunities for growth. If we would be courageous, we could come out on the other side of the situation a stronger, better version of ourselves.
LESSONS LEARNED (and maybe some I am still learning):
+ I can choose to experience growth, especially in times of extreme hardship.
+ Being constantly busy is highly overrated.
+ Slowing down, enjoying the moment, and paying attention to your physical and mental health is the best thing you can do.
+ My worth is not defined by what I can do (or not do), nor is it dependent on what I think other people think of me.
+ It is okay when your “normal” changes – discover the new normal, and proceed accordingly.
+ I have more strength, courage, and bravery than I give myself credit for.
+ Forgiveness (of self and others) is hard, but absolutely necessary.
+ When you feel like the world has swallowed you, and you just want to lie in bed and ignore everyone, that is the exact time you need to reach out to others.
+ Lean on people, it takes some of the weight off yourself.
+ We have no idea what others around us are really going through – be fragile with them.
+ We might not realize the fight that someone is struggling through, just to appear as if they have it together.
